Arrogance is a very misunderstood term that is often bandied about during an argument. It can be used in an accusatory manner or as a means to change the subject of conflict, either deliberately or inadvertently. But what does arrogance mean, and how do we differentiate between an arrogant personality and one who is self-confident? Understanding the signs of an arrogant person takes a lot of awareness, empathy, and emotional intelligence on your part.
It isn’t just about labeling someone as arrogant. Relationships in today’s world, be they personal or professional, require mutual respect and understanding, and recognizing the signs of an arrogant person can help protect our well-being while fostering healthier relationships.
How To Identify An Arrogant Person – 11 Signs
We can begin by understanding the characteristics of an arrogant person. Once we recognize the signs of arrogance, we will begin to understand it better, and dealing with arrogant people becomes much easier. We will learn to engage with it in a more healthy manner and form healthier relationships and connections. Let us take a look at how an arrogant person behaves.
1. A need to be right
One of the easiest signs of an arrogant person to spot is their refusal to admit to any wrongdoing on their part. They will just not admit that they were wrong, be it in an argument or deed. This need to be right stems from an underlying fear of vulnerability, of admitting that they are wrong. Instead of engaging in a healthy discussion, they prefer constant arguing and look at any disagreement as a personal affront.
Psychologist Iskra Fileva PhD says that constantly insisting on being right may actually be a sign of insecurity and a misguided form of pride rather than strength.
2. Dominating conversations
An arrogant person tends to dominate a conversation and steer discussions towards themselves. This allows them to brag about things like how knowledgeable they are and who they know. They rarely allow others to get a word in and have a tendency to ride roughshod over others.
This need to dominate appears as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, leading to dominating conversations where others’ opinions are quickly dismissed and brushed aside. Their monopolizing of a conversation is such that others can barely get a word in edgeways, and they carry on, unaware that others may be losing interest in the conversation.
3. Lack of empathy
Empathy is the ability to share and understand the feelings of others. It is a characteristic that is usually absent in an arrogant individual. The absence of empathy makes it difficult for them to form close relationships, and they struggle to connect with others on an emotional level. To them, emotions are a sign of weakness.
This lack of empathy can become very obvious when a husband, wife, friend, or co-worker shares some vulnerability with them. These moments are met with responses that indicate disinterest or are very superficial and lack any real warmth.
4. They look down on others
One arrogant personality trait is the tendency to form negative judgments and look down on others. These are typically the characteristics of someone with a big ego.
The negative judgments may be in regard to the other person’s profession, income, appearance or education and are indicative of their sense of superiority. The attitude is built on comparison and hierarchy rather than any connection. The superior attitude makes them prone to insult someone who disagrees with them with an utter disregard for their feelings.
Donna L. Roberts PhD has noted that people who are constantly comparing themselves with others may be struggling with issues of self-worth which are masked by arrogance. Their arrogant behavior that makes them put others down makes them feel better about themselves and masks their feelings of low self-worth.
5. Difficulty accepting criticism
Another trait of an arrogant person is their inability to accept criticism even of the constructive type. This can trigger defensiveness, attempts to shift the blame or anger. An arrogant person associates any criticism, implied or otherwise, with an attack on themselves. Criticism will cause them to blame others, justify their actions, or close themselves off completely.
This defensiveness can be rooted in childhood patterns or environments where failure was not tolerated and had consequences. Any criticism, implied or otherwise, will just aggravate their sense of low self-worth and will trigger a response. Often, they respond to criticism with anger or even humor and will try to put the other person down. Responding to criticism with anger, using humor to attack another person, and trying to deflect blame are all examples of arrogant behavior.
6. Sense of entitlement
An arrogant person usually exhibits signs of entitlement, as if the world owes him or her. The expectations of special treatment in all aspects of life, be it cutting a line or getting their way every time, is a common trait of arrogant people.
They assume that the rules do not apply to them, and that they are entitled to any privileges accorded to them. This belief can be the cause of tension in shared spaces like the workplace. Dealing with ego in the workplace can prove to be a tricky affair. This is because your own ego can get in the way. This is where humility is important as it enables you to beat someone with a big ego.
7. Putting others down
Arrogant people frequently belittle others, often disguising these remarks as jokes. They engage in passive-aggressive behavior in an attempt to establish dominance or superiority over others. These attempts can be either covert or overt and can affect a person’s self-esteem over time.
The belittling of others helps them to feel superior and helps to cover up feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. The root of this is the need to constantly compare themselves with others. Showing others in a poor light by running them down helps them validate their own superiority and further masks their feelings of low self-worth.
Many women exhibit this trait. One of the signs of arrogance in a woman is looking down on others because of the way they dress, the accessories they wear, or even just the way they present themselves. They may not say anything openly, but instead, may speak to a friend about a third person, running them down. Running someone down helps them feel better about themselves. True strength lies in elevating and not diminishing others, exactly the opposite of what an arrogant person does.
8. Overconfidence without substance
The line between true confidence and arrogance is a fine one that is often blurred. Confidence is rooted in experience and humility, in knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses. Arrogance, on the other hand, frequently shows up as overconfidence and without the skills or experience to back it up.
An arrogant person may boast about things they can do even if they do not possess the ability to do it. For example, an arrogant person who is a good driver but has never driven anything larger than a sedan may boast about his or her prowess behind the wheel of a truck. The boasting may stem from a desire to create an image that is actually far removed from reality.
Overconfidence can lead to unrealistic expectations, and unsound and risky decisions and can eventually lead to disappointment for both the arrogant person and those around them.
9. Making assumptions
Another sign of arrogance is the tendency to jump to conclusions without completely hearing the other person. They frequently interrupt conversations because they assume they know what you are going to say.
There is also a tendency to speak for another without being invited to do so. This happens because they assume you need their help in making a point or that they can give voice to your thoughts more articulately. Whatever the reason, the whole act of making assumptions often indicates a lack of genuine curiosity and care.
10. Blaming others and justifying themselves
An arrogant person usually attempts to lay the blame elsewhere rather than take responsibility for their actions. They will blame other people, circumstances or just plain refuse to see that they were at fault. They will try and justify their actions so as to absolve themselves of taking responsibility. In this manner, a mistake becomes someone else’s problem while they remain blameless.
It is a classic coping mechanism that helps them protect their fragile and brittle sense of self. For example, an arrogant person who is consistently late for a meeting will always have an excuse as to why they are late. It could be because of traffic, a car breakdown, a delay in the bus, or one of any other reasons. Whatever the reason, they will never accept responsibility for being late.
11. Exhibiting narcissistic traits
Not all arrogant people have narcissistic personality disorder. However, arrogant people do share some common traits with those who suffer from narcissism. Traits such as a sense of self-importance, grandiosity, and a constant need for admiration are common to both types of persons. For this reason, it is important to not mix the two up but to remain informed about how these behaviors might reflect deeper ͐psychological patterns.
7 Tips To Help You Deal With Arrogant People
Dealing with an arrogant person is a challenging task, especially when their negative behavior is directed toward you. Instead of letting their actions get the better of you, here are some effective tips that will help you deal with arrogant people without losing your cool or compromising your values.
1. Choose your battles
The temptation to put an arrogant person in their place is a strong one, especially when they are being disruptive. But you have to remind yourself that not every situation requires a reaction and sometimes discretion is the better choice.
For your mental peace of mind, ask yourself if the situation warrants a response. Remember, silence can be a powerful comeback for arrogant person.
2. Set clear boundaries
As a rule, setting clear boundaries in a relationship helps protect your emotional well-being. Whether the arrogant person is your boss, man, or a close friend, remember it is okay to say no and to walk away from toxic debates. It is also okay to limit the time you spend with an arrogant person if it is affecting your peace of mind.
One way to set a clear boundary is to inform the arrogant person that their statement or behavior is unacceptable to you. This must be said calmly and firmly for it to have a positive effect. At times like this, it pays to be humble. When disagreeing with them, preface your statement with phrases such as “while I respect your opinion”. At the end of the day, being polite never hurts anyone and it will give them pause to think.
3. Be humble
Many people mistake humility for weakness but that is not true. Humility is a sign of strength under control and being humble in the face of arrogance is a powerful foil. Humility comes from knowing your strengths and acceptance of your weaknesses.
A humble person will not try to inflate themself and will not feel threatened in the face of arrogance. Leading with humility is important as it can change the energy in a room and dampen the aggression caused by arrogant behavior. Humility allows us to grow and connect and creates a safe environment where everyone can feel comfortable.
4. Don’t take it personally
A person’s arrogance usually has nothing to do with you. It stems from a variety of factors including childhood trauma, conditioning, and an inflated ego. As long as you don’t take an arrogant person’s remarks personally, you will not be affected by their words and can keep detached. While this approach does not excuse their behavior, it puts it in context and helps you deal with it without getting upset.
Lindsay Gibson, a licensed therapist, says in her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, that many persons with arrogant personality traits learn to adopt these traits as survival strategies.
5. Use empathy judiciously
If you remain emotionally safe and grounded, try looking at the person behind the mask of arrogance. While this might prove to be difficult, detaching yourself might help you see that arrogance masks deep-seated fears and inadequacies.
A little bit of compassion might help to reduce the tension and provide room for change. Dealing with arrogant people can drain you emotionally, so remember to protect your mental space while being kind.
6. Disarm them with questions
A thoughtful question can sometimes do more good than a hundred clever insults. If someone is being boastful or dismissive, asking them gently why they feel that way can help turn the spotlight on to their behavior in a non-confrontational manner. Strategies such as these are often used in conflict resolution.
7. Know when to walk away
Rather than beat someone with a big ego, it is better to know when to walk away. Do this before you feel mentally drained. It is better to choose mental peace rather than battling it out and feeling bad about it later on.
What Makes A Person Arrogant?
What makes people arrogant and what lies at the root of arrogance? While there is no simple answer to these questions, many factors can contribute to making a person arrogant. Early childhood experiences where love is offered conditionally could be one factor. Cultural values that reward bravado and make vulnerability appear as a weakness could be another. For example, in some cultures crying is seen as a form of weakness, something that shouldn’t be exhibited especially by boys.
Many men with this upbringing, having learnt not to show weakness, will exhibit some of the symptoms of arrogance. Chronic low self-esteem could be yet another cause. Feeling low about oneself can cause a person to mask it with an inflated ego and make them come across as arrogant.
According to an article in the National Library of Medicine, those who exhibit high narcissistic tendencies often report fluctuating self-worth. This implies that arrogance may be a deeply entrenched kind of coping mechanism.
Some may even ask themselves the question – “Am I arrogant?” Answering this truthfully may make you uncomfortable, but it can be equally transformative. If, by reading this article, you are asking yourself this question, then you are already practicing self-awareness, which in itself is an antidote to arrogance. Once you have identified those traits that may make you arrogant, you can start working on improving yourself and change.
Final Thoughts: Confident, Not Cocky
There is a thin line dividing confidence from overconfidence and arrogance. True confidence can easily be mistaken for arrogance and vice versa. True confidence gives space to others to voice their feelings and opinions, and to be heard. It lifts others up by considering their viewpoints equally. It allows you to listen with an open mind to the arguments of others. And most importantly, it allows you to learn from others. Arrogance, on the other hand, protects a fragile ego with bravado, dominating behavior, and inflated self-worth. Arrogance leaves no room for other people, instead shutting them out completely.
Whether we are navigating an arrogant coworker, an entitled woman at a dinner party, or a boss who is screaming at you through no fault of your own, the key is the same: slow down, stay grounded, and lead with understanding and compassion. The more humility and compassion you practice, the easier it will be to stay grounded without losing yourself and the better you can deal with these untoward situations.
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